This world is not our home

"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down-when we die and leave these bodies-we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God Himself and by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long for the day when we will put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will not be spirits without bodies, but we will put on new heavenly bodies. Out dying bodies make us groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and have no bodies at all. We want to slip into our new bodies so that the dying bodies will be swallowed up by everlasting life. God Himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit" 2 cor. 5:1-5

I am not sure where to begin this post. I know it needs to be done, for me to get these words out, to tell you about my grandma. It is hard to see the screen through my tears but you must know about this amazing woman, my grandma, Rose Mascaro. She has passed from this life, and my heart is heavy and I am so broken by this. My Grandma was in a lot of ways my hero. I love her so deeply and she has impacted me so tremendously. I went to Atlanta a week and half ago to say goodbye to her and for her to meet Hollings and hold her. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am so grateful for that chance to tell this woman how much she means to me and to my whole family. She would light up when she saw Hollings. She held for almost 30 minutes and sang songs to her. I will forever hold that memory in my heart and tell Hollings about that magical moment. My Grandma passed away on Tuesday and we had her funeral yesterday. I can't believe she is gone, I can't believe I won't call her again and hear her say "hi honey" or her call and ask how her babies are, meaning my girls. I took for granted her age of 95 and her looks, she never looked 95 not one minute, but her body was 95 and she was hurting and I know she is better but it does not ease the pain I feel right now.

Grandma, I hope you and Poppy are dancing to Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra right now with Aunt Patty watching. I hope you even get to sing with them. I hope Poppy has on the fanciest suit and you have on the most gorgeous dress. I hope you back does not hurt and your fingers are nimble. Maybe they will even sing "She's a brick house" like you and Poppy danced to at Angela's wedding. You defied the odds and the doctor's daily. You sunned that gorgeous Italian skin and left this world with hardly a wrinkle. When you made your world famous meatballs, that we would all fight tooth and nail for, you tasted the raw meat to make sure the ingredients were right and never once got sick. You were a child of the depression and because of that no food could ever be thrown away and if it were you called it a sin. Whenever bread gets moldy around my house I think of you and feel guilty for tossing it in the trash. I have pizzelles in my freezer that I can't eat or throw out because it was from the last patch you ever made me. Your hands that touched so many and made so much food and raised a whole family four generations deep will forever be my favorite hands. Your hands that were always perfectly manicured and usually painted silver. Your smile was brilliant and I will continue to see it when Angela smiles, who looks just like you. I am forever grateful to have named BellaRose after you. I pray she carries on your strength and stubbornness and the way you affect people. People long to be in your presence and hear your stories. I have never seen anyone who did not meet you and not fall instantly in love with you. One of Worth's favorite stories of you is when you told him you were going smack the shit out of him if he made the coffee wrong. You said this with a twinkle in your eye and laughter in your voice. We all laughed because we knew it was true.

You will continue to live through this family, through your sons, and your grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Through our smiles and laughter and tears. My heart is broken in a million pieces right now and I can't wait for the day that I get to hold your hands again and hug and kiss you. Until then I will hold you in my heart and do everything I can to make you proud!

I love you my Grandma.

94th birthday

95th birthday

You with my sweet Hollings.